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GIVE UP BEING PERFECT - GIVE UP BEING SURE

I was reading a blog called Insiration House Inspiration House.org and found this AMAZING TED TALK by Brene Brown, PHd:This explains everything about why we are suffering so much here in America. 

This explains why healthy, whole people are the most loving and GENEROUS. They have the most courage. They do not live in fear. They are open and vulnerable.

This is exactly what I"ve been feeling and saying for years. We need to be more vulnerable, less certain that we are right, more open, less ashamed of not being perfect. Be free to fail, stop measuring ourselves, stop blaming others, just say YOU'RE SORRY and love yourself.


The more you GIVE, the more you RECEIVE. But you can't give what you haven't got. 
When you love yourself, you are able to love others.


I love the 12 steps of AA. We look at our own moral inventory in Step Four (4) and see our side of the street. Where were we to blame? How did our actions hurt others? Even if the other party was wrong, we still had a part in the conflict. 


Nowdays everyone is blaming everyone else instead of looking at their own side of the street and taking some responsbility. If politicians like Santorum and Romney were really Christian in any way, they would be humble. They would be fearless because Christ states: LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR. 


Lately these political leaders who are against helping those less fortuneate (whether it be with food stamps or Medicare or public assistance) are in fear of losing their money. But they are doing the EXACT OPPOSITE OF CHRIST'S LAW and TEACHINGS. 


They are scared to pay more taxes for the common good we all share: public schools, free medical care, clean water, safe highways, clean air, Social Security. They are afraid to help their fellow man becaue they see everything in terms of "If there's more for you, there's less for me."  


They believe in guns, war and attacking before understanding. They seem to lack compassion. Until it happens to them. Until a disaster like a tornado strikes and they scream: "Where is the Federal Disaster Relief - FEMA? Where is the National Guard? Where are the Police? Where is the National Food Bank? Who will help us? 


If these modern-day conservative "Christians" truly followed and believed in God, and loved themselves, they would love their fellow man. They would have FAITH. They would trust and be more generous. They would never be hateful or stingy. 


Love and accept yourself. You become WHOLE and then you are not competing, and fear-based If you don't have self-worth (which comes from a deep belief in your worthiness) then you will always be jealous and envious and miserly.


The most generous people are LIBERAL with their love and money.


The more you give, the more you receive.


From Inspiration House: "For me, the “secret sauce” I’ve been discovering about life has everything to do with the art of letting go.  Letting go of assumptions, letting go of the need to control, letting go of worry/doubt/fear.  And, instead, replacing all my energy spent on planning, controlling, doubting etc with a spirit of openness and compassion.

I love that Breen picks up on this theme of letting go!  In fact she even uses the phrase “letting go” in each of the ten chapter titles she calls “guideposts” in her book:

1. Cultivating authenticity: Letting go of what people think
2. Cultivating self-compassion: Letting go of perfectionism
3. Cultivating a resilient spirit: Letting go of a numbing and powerlessness
4. Cultivating gratitude and joy: Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark
5. Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: Letting go of the need for certainty
6. Cultivating creativity: Letting go of comparison
7. Cultivating play and rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
8. Cultivating calm and stillness: Letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle
9. Cultivating meaning work: Letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to”
10. Cultivating laughter, song, and dance: Letting go of being cool and ‘always in control’

Letting go without a safety net, or foundation that you trust, probably isn’t a wise idea.  And neither Breen nor I advocate a laissez fare attitude about letting go.  Instead we’re advocating a ‘letting go’ practice that nurtures qualities of authenticity, self-compassion and resilience.

Breen’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, is a quick, worthwhile read.  And, if you don’t have the inclination to read the whole book then I definitely recommend this 20-min video – you’ll find all the major themes of her book embraced in this message.

Try the spiritual practice of “letting go.”  I think you’ll find it joy inducing!

FREEDOM FROM FEAR OF FINANCIAL WRECKAGE, AGEISM, FAILURE

LISTEN LIVE RIGHT NOW: My interview on DARE TO DREAM on OVERCOMING TRAGEDY, Listen live right now to the rest of my spiritual comedy interview on DARE TO DREAM:http://radio.securenetsystems.net/v4/index.cfm?stationCallSign=INDIE100&pgmStart=true

MIRACLES, MANIFESTING YOUR DREAMS

MIracles, metaphysics, manifesting your dreams. 


I Just did an amazing radio show last night at the Burbank Studios of the PHENOMENAL INDIE 100 RADIO SHOW "DARE TO DREAM" Deborah Debbi Dachinger's DARE TO DREAMhttp://www.deborahdachinger.com/?p=2285

http://www.deborahdachinger.com/lydia-cornell-comedy-writer-afi-best-actress-nominee-peoples-choice-award-winner-international-star-of-250-tv-shows-films/

LYDIA CORNELL – a Comedy Writer, AFI Best Actress nominee and People’s Choice Award winner, international star of over 250 TV shows and films. Lydia’s first major role was as Ted Knight‘s daughter Sara on the ABC television comedy Too Close for Comfort. She has appeared on numerous TV  programs over the years, including The Love Boat , Charlie’s Angels, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Drew Carey Show, Quantum Leap, Full House, Knight Rider, The Dukes of Hazzard, The A-Team, T. J. Hooker, Simon & Simon, Hunter, Hardball, Fantasy Island, andDick Clark‘s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. Besides also co-starring in films, Lydia has won the Koufax award for her self-titled blog; she’s a humorist and comedienne and performs stand-up comedy.  Her articles have appeared in The Huffington Post, various magazines and newspapers, and she’s a radio host. Lydia is also a comedienne, political writer and novelist. http://www.LydiaCornell.com

LISTEN HERE: DARE TO DREAMhttp://www.deborahdachinger.com/?p=2285

LETTER BY A FORMER RACIST: HOW I LEARNED NOT TO HATE

QUOTE OF THE DAY:  If all you did was just look for things to appreciate you would live a joyous, spectacular life. If there was nothing else that you ever came to understand other than just look for things to appreciate, it's the only tool you would ever need to predominantly hook you up with who you really are. That's all you'd need. - Abraham Hicks Teachings 

 The Journey of Learning to Not Hate 

by Rudy, Herbie Pilato's wise friend

          All of my life, I have been learning life lessons about whom not to hate.

I remember when my preacher talked about how God loved us so much, I would hear him. I knew for sure I was in the right place. But I was brought up in a culture that openly despised many people who weren’t exactly like my family.

When I was a young child, I saw the first black person and called him the n-word. My family was driving up to a stoplight and there was a man begging at the corner. I yelled out of the window, "Mom! Dad!

Look at the dirty _____!" My parents rolled up the windows and sped away; meanwhile, I was ecstatic, thinking I had said something profound. I never heard that word ever come from their mouths after that day.

Years went by and I learned to hate Catholics, although I had never met one. "Those Catholics breed like rats and have dozens of children." I learned to look down on Jews, who "don’t even practice Christmas celebrations"!

Oh, I was a racist, and I didn't even know it.

As a teen, I remember school peers who beat up gay men as they walked out of bars. I recall approving of this criminal activity. There was something in me that disapproved of harming others, but those gay men were fair game, in my eyes. At others times, when I was a teen, I remember saying with my own mouth that every gay person in the world should be rounded up and put on an island then nuked. I still talked to God, and though God talked to me, I went right on thinking gay men were an abomination.

Was it because my preacher told me so?

When I joined the Army, I lived among all kinds of blacks and Catholics, and I became friends with a Jew who taught me how to play chess at a higher level. I began to understand that each person of those other races and religions should be judged on their own merits. I later had roommates who were black, and I even lived in Mexico with a Catholic family for a year. It changed my perceptions.

Still, although I no longer hated Jews, American blacks, or Catholics, I of course still hated Russians from the "evil empire," and dark-skinned Muslim people from the Middle East.

But meeting God in heaven, I found that God even loved me, and I am not talking about just love, I am talking about love so strong that God didn't even see the thoughts I wished I had never thought and the actions I wished I had never done. God loved me as if I were God's favorite child who had come home.

After my NDE, I no longer hated Russians or Muslims.

When I returned from heaven to my body, I told everyone I loved them, or at least I tried to show it by my actions. I left the Army. I went along for the years thinking I was a changed person.

Although I was still prejudiced about homosexual men, I treated gay men with kindness and respect. Yet, when a preacher said that AIDS was a curse from God for immorality, and in particular for gay men in San Francisco, I believed it. I never asked God if this was true. I had met God and knew that God was love, but still, I rationalized that there was an exception for gay men. How could someone who has met God believe that God hated gay men?
I at least tried to get rid of my racism. I fell in love with a Latina woman. We got married and had three beautiful children.

I worked in a warehouse when I was first starting a family. I had a friend there who had helped me work on my car and never asked for anything in return. He was kind and helpful. When he didn't show up for a couple of weeks for work, I began to worry about him. There seemed to be a kind of secrecy about the whole thing.

I found he was in a hospital and had some kind of rare brain fungus. I went with my family to visit him, and he seemed glad that we had come by. We wished him well.

Later, after his funeral, I heard he died from complications due to AIDS. His parents hadn't approved of his lifestyle and didn't even go to his funeral.

He had never told me he was gay. I had long admired him, and it was during this time that I changed my mind about God creating AIDS to kill immoral people. Whatever Richard was in his personal life, the times I spent with him at work and outside of work, he was honest, sincere, and a true friend.

I am beginning to understand that there are reasons why we come to this earth. We want to learn some very specific things. When I was in heaven, God asked me if I needed to learn more about love. I always thought that it was a kind of question that begged me to learn how to love others. I have gone through many stages of learning about love, but what I have come to understand is that it wasn't about me loving other people, it was about God's love. God loves all of us, every one of us. We "all" may have what religious texts may call an immoral life. I know that God still loves me even though I had many areas of my life that were not “moral.” God looked beyond my cruelty and my own sexual immorality and saw what was good, and right, and beautiful inside of me.
I began working as a delivery driver. I worked very hard. During this time, I bought into the notion that homeless and welfare people were lazy and useless.

But I worked so hard that my wife and I hardly ever talked, and then she became depressed. At last, she became a shopaholic and went crazy spending money using credit cards. My whole world turned upside down. One day, she told me she didn't love me anymore and I went into a huge spiral of depression.

Working hard sure didn't save my marriage. I quit my job as a delivery driver, but it was too late. She took the children away with her.

I became a cab driver. Shortly after my health insurance lapsed, I was in another car accident when a car struck me from behind. My neck was re-injured. I was living with pain over eight on the ten point pain scale. My legs would become weak and lose their feeling. I couldn’t work.

I asked if I could stay with my family for a while. I told my father my legs were going numb, but he thought I was just being lazy and told me to mow the lawn the day after my accident. I left in anger. I lived on about $30 for a couple of weeks and then I ran out of money and gas.

Sure enough, without insurance or family support, I became homeless and hungry. I became what I had loathed!

Sleeping in a Camaro is no fun. My brother loaned me a tent so I could camp. I would sneak into the park late and pitch a tent and get up early before the park rangers came. Then, I stopped eating. I had no money. It was such a humiliating experience. It took me three days of starving and living in my car in the parking lot before I got food stamps. I pawned something I had for gas and lived at that park for a couple or more weeks and then I went to my brother for a shower.
I had lost my family, my home, my job, broke my neck again, with no one, not even my own family, to turn to. I was in horrific pain. 

This was the lowest point of my life.

One evening, I got down on my knees and prayed. I was angry at God. I asked why God sent me back to learn about love when there was not a person in the world that loved me. I prayed to God to let me go home. I said this world is not worth living in.

Then God spoke to me in an audible voice and said, "I didn't promise you that people will not break your heart. People will break your heart. I promised you that I would never leave you nor forsake you."

I often hear angels or spirit guides or whatever you want to call that inner voice, but this voice was a voice from the sky that I heard with my regular hearing. That was a pretty powerful thing to say. It changed my life.

Then God told me to go to my mother's house and move to Corpus Christi (which means “the Body of Christ”). I did so, and my mother told me a lawyer wanted me to come by his office. They had a check waiting for me. I went from there to Corpus Christi with a friend visiting there, and I was led to buy a house for $5,000 with an insurance settlement that finally came through.. The fellow wanted to give the old fishing shack to a Veteran and I looked like I fit the description. A little miracle.

I was so poor that I collected aluminum cans and sold my blood to survive beyond those meager food stamps and a tiny check for disability I began receiving. $178 a month and $100 for food is a slim living, but I survived. I went on to fix up the house. I went back to school, even though I was in horrific pain, and I picked up a college degree. I began all kinds of clubs to help homeless and poor people and God blessed that part of my life. Money would just happen when I needed it.

I met a woman who was very beautiful and very alcoholic back then. She was one of the most remarkable human beings I have ever known. I learned to love her in spite of her alcoholism and we even got married. Even though she died after we divorced, I still love her. You can't even hate alcoholics.

I actually got over my deep injury from the betrayal of my first wife, and we are now friendly when we speak to each other. Our children visited me at the beach house every summer.
I thought I was through my prejudices until I came to an online conspiracy discussion forum. Reading the forum, I almost started believing there were evil men in the world worth hating, until I realized it was the same stuff I was surrounded with when I was a child, just a more subtle version. Instead of the obvious racism of my childhood, this time it was all about “evil Zionists,” illegal immigrants, and Jesuits.

There was the usual talk of nuking certain countries -- just different countries than what I used to think about nuking.

I started debating them, but I was lambasted for not believing what they believe. I realized that others are not the ones we need to change, but rather that person inside of us that needs to change.
I once upon a time believed God hated atheists, Muslims, blacks, Catholics, gay men, alcoholics, drug addicts, the homeless, and I am sure several other kinds and types of people. 

Through the years, I have tried to make my list of people I loathe shorter. I don't always succeed, but I believe I have had breakthroughs on many levels, as you can see. I guess it had to sink in and I had to see that there is a little bit of me in them and them in me.

I can't hate racists anymore because I was just like them. Yet, I still have anger when I see racism. It is something that really gets to me, and I can't seem to hold my tongue. There is probably something in me that needs to be worked out, or I wouldn't have such strong reactions to it.

I also vehemently oppose war. Both of those actions seem such a spiritual waste of energy. I guess I still have things to learn about those actions or it would not bother me.

And now, I believe the hardest thing of all is for me to learn to love those who believe that God hates!

Perhaps this is my last lesson before I walk into the light?

I am still here, so I must have lessons left to learn. - 

Thoughts at 3 A.M.: A Progressive's Prayer for Andrew Breitbart

Thoughts at 3 A.M.: A Progressive's Prayer for Andrew Breitbart: There's nothing like the sudden death of a Legend in his Own Mind, to turn the Thursday before Not So Super Tuesday into a slow news day. ...

MIRACLES * THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING

THIS VIDEO CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE 
Please take 4 minutes to watch this and consider the ideas below. Thank you!
  




This is not what you think Please watch this. It's under 5 minutes. Please watch the video before reading any further.

This is how the law of life works: when you give, you receive. And the more you give, the more you receive.
It is wonderful the way love created a full circle of gifts. The one thing in the world the cab driver wanted, he received — as a result of his kindness and generosity.

Here's what's interesting. The woman was obnoxious and bitchy to the cab driver. She presented herself as a bitter, unhappy woman who complained a lot.


What is amazing about this is that the cab driver did not REACT. He did not return hate for hate. He did not spew anger or bark back at the woman. 

He quietly persisted in trying to first understand her behavior. He tried to understand ("Seek first to understand, rather than to be understood," says the St. Francis prayer) -- and wondered why she was so bitchy and mean-spirited. "A soft answer turns away wrath."


Question: If the cab driver had called her a bitch or been equally rude to the woman — in other words,  if he had retaliated in an "eye for an eye" way — would he have been the perfect donor match for this woman? I don't think so, but we would never know anyway, because a hateful, hostile person would never have considered giving his kidney or going to the clinic in the first place (to get the blood work done)  Very few would give an organ to a total stranger. 
What's interesting, is that this man had nothing left to live for. He was "surrendered" at the lowest point. He was empty which is often where you have to be to allow something new to come in. You have to be so beaten down at times that there is no place else to go, except to Source, spirit, the beginning of everything.. which some call God. 

Here is my strange question: did this cab driver's loving attitude and gentle spirit CREATE the match? Did his act of being loving and generous and compassionate and going against the grain of retaliating and "fighting fire with fire" actually foment a healthy breeding ground for miracles and create the synchronicty of the highest order -- love, healing, life? After all, love and love making actually unite people in creating babies -- LIFE! 


Obviously he would not have been open-hearted enough to even offer his kidney — but let's take it a step further. If he were a miserly, hateful, angry person — would he have had the right chemistry, the correct DNA, or even have a healthy kidney to give her?  Would he have been the perfect match if his nature had been reactive, volatile, resentful, negative, withholding, conservative (fear based) or "quick to anger?" 


What do you think? Did the cab driver's generous, loving compassion — his peaceful, non-reactive attitude — actually CREATE the right match for her kidney? Or was it all predestined? 

Quantum physics says that the observer affects the object (wave) making it collapse into a particle at a certain moment in time. 

Quantum Physics says that everything exists in waves of infinite possibility, until we turn around and lock it in or "particularize" it with our "judgment, observation or opinion." (This is why it's important not to make negative assumptions about people or to judge them, for you get whatever you choose to see -- and you can therefore experience negative events that were never objectively there before you "locked them in" with your weighted observation or judgment.  

I believe his open-hearted attitude toward the rude woman — and his gentle persistence in trying to understand her pain — was the compassion that created the donor match. Anyone can be loving to someone who is loving to them first, but when we are loving to those who hate us and persecute us, we disarm them. We conquer our enemies. (By the way, that is the mark of a true Christian; the one who turns the other cheek and loves his enemies and his neighbor as himself.

Love is creative. It creates life. The cab driver's loving compassion actually made his kidney the right donor match.


Love in the face of hatred is the law of attraction. Like attracts like; hence, the kidney match. I know this may sound difficult to wrap your mind around, but with an understanding of Quantum Physics, it is simple to understand.


If the cab driver had returned hate for hate -- if he had been her equal in jerkiness -- which is so easy and common, in fact most of us behave very badly on a daily basis with others. Most of us take the easy, lazy way out and we don't extend ourselves beyond our own nose -- we have no interest in experiencing life from another's point of view, especially a bitchy old woman. Maybe a sad person will elicit some sympathy but how often do we actually stop to consider WHY someone is so ornery or mean? Not very often, which makes me think this cabbie was a very special human being to be able to "turn the other cheek and quest for anwers inside this woman's crotchety old soul.  

It's so ordinary and easy and common for us in everyday life to instantly react with hurt pride or to lash out when insulted or attacked. It seems to be the way of the world - tit for tat, you insult me, I insult you back. In our American TV shows and comedies we are so snarky and sarcastic and mean to each other. We get annoyed and resentful so easily. 

But if this cab driver had been as much a jerk as his passenger was to him, there would not have been a healing. There would have been no story, no gift, no miracle. 

There would have just been two hollow, hateful people passing like ships in the night. Maybe the cabbie would have had to learn his lesson in another way.


But two jerks usually cancel each other out. So it's our job, each of us, to go out into the world and do what we can to make someone happy. Here's how simple it is: Love creates life. When we express love, no matter how someone else is behaving, everyone involved in an argument is healed.


I don't mean to repeat myself but this is an important point, and a major discovery. Love heals. it is a creative force. Hate is a destructive force; it does not create life — it kills life. Just as darkness is the absence of light, and coldness is the absence of warmth, hatred is the absence of love. Hatred, darkness and cold have no power of their own. They are not self-starters.


This man took a bad situation and shined love on it. By his generosity, he enabled his kidney to be the right one as a donor match.


How is this possible?


In Quantum physics, scientists have proven that our loving attention to an object actually changes the object in the physical universe.


We have been conditioned to believe that the external world is more real than the internal world. Quantum Physics says just the opposite: what’s happening on the inside determines what’s happening on the outside. Our world is shaped by our thoughts. So your loving attention to something, literally alters the physical universe. This is scientific, but it is not easily understood.


Energy consists of sub-atomic particles that in turn make up atoms and finally matter. This energy exists as waves spread out over space and time. They have discovered that down to the tiniest atom, there is only empty space. There is no solid matter. Everything is energy. Everything exists in waves of infinite possibility. Only when we focus our attention on an object does that object become a particle. We "particularize" an object by our attention to it.


So thoughts really are things. And 85% of all disease is caused by stress -- which means worry, fear or misplaced thoughts that become ingrained habits of negativity. There is now scientific proof that loving thoughts actually create a thicker brain cortex. Monks who meditate on love regularly have no disease.


Dr. Christine Northrup says "Hope is a biochemical state in the body that promotes healing."


Laughter heals. And we know that love heals everything. Love is the actual definition of God. (If only the hateful Christian and Muslim fundamentalists knew that; they seem to omit Christ's teachings form their form of Christianity. Very bizarre.


Love is an interactive force. The Creator needs playmates to show off for. God needs our cooperation and belief in order to manifest miracles in our lives.  


To experience magic, miracles and wonder, we need to adopt a childlike wonder at all the beauty around us. We need to appreciate it, so it can show off for us. We need to "act as if" we believe in a power greater than ourselves -- participate, conspire, and cooperate with the LOVE (which is God and Goodness (they all mean the same thing.) 

By our loving, selfless action, we create harmony and goodwill. By being loving and giving, this man became the perfect match.


In this case, the Universe kept putting the cabbie and the woman together because the woman needed to be "driven" into submission by the cab driver's gentleness. This is the method used by the Great Peacemaker when he healed so-called "sinners."  He leaned on Divine Love with revolutionary softness. Christ didn't condemn the adulterer or the thief; his unconditional love made them want to walk in the light, and transformed their hearts. Whether you believe the healing miracles or not, loving your enemies actually works. "A soft answer turns away wrath."


In any case, fate/the universe/God or whatever you call your higher power — kept putting the cab driver and the bitch together because they each had a missing piece that created the whole; the full circle.


It is wonderful the way love created a full circle of gifts. The one thing in the world the cab driver wanted, he received — as a result of his generosity. The antidote to poverty and depression is generosity. This cab driver acted exactly as the Great Peacemaker would; he gave freely without thought of self. And he received everything.


And what was the catalyst? Returning love for hate. The cab driver persisted in being loving to his enemy.