HOW NOT TO GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT ~ HELP IN TIMES OF TRAGEDY AND CRISIS

~  HOW NOT TO GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT ~ 

We are here for one purpose: to love each other. But we can't give away what we haven't got inside. We have to first learn to love ourselves, and then transfer that love to others. We are here to learn to love the "other" -- the person that looks different from us, or is against us — or who may not give us what we want.

We really have no enemies. Our enemies are in our head.

"Withdraw your attention from your enemies (your worries and fears) and they expire from neglect." ~ Emmet Fox

There is nothing that can defeat you if you take a step back before reacting and ask for help. Ask for a moment of guidance "What would love do? How can I feel better about this situation? How can I broaden and expand my heart.

Love is all there is. Love creates life.

I was upset today by something someone did to offend me. But I took my power back and decided not to be offended. I made a choice to take contrary action: to send them love instead of instantly sending off a hurt email or being insulted.

Whenever my ego is hurt — and I feel that hot flush over my face or that burning, churning inside my stomach -- I know this is not love or my higher self speaking.  Whenever I am tempted to give someone a piece of my mind or defend myself or react to something someone said in order to get back at them — I am not accessing my highest self.  Instead, I am trolling in the gutter: loitering in the lower, primitive, mortal realms.

I want to be free from the immature, tit-for-tat reactiveness. The powerful spiritual divine voice inside me is never too opinionated, hot-headed or offended.

In other words, whenever we, as humans, are overly defensive or whenever we cling to diehard, intransigent opinions, we are not full of grace or love. We are allowing our stubborn pride or human will to override the softer qualities that promote goodwill and creative collaboration -- the qualities that help you win friends and get along with people.

Whenever I have a strong opinion it is not from the good part of me. Whenever I open my heart and stop to listen, I become humble enough to let others in. Then I actually get everything I want -- which is love and acceptance and "community" anyway.

Isn't that what we're supposed to do: turn the other cheek?  It is if we follow a spiritual program or if we read the Bible correctly.

I actually called a friend to ask his advice: "Should I be angry and upset? Is it okay if I don't react and don't feel like a victim for a change? Do I have to bring it up and let them know my feelings were hurt?" (Because, you see, I really wanted peace. I really didn't want the drama. I have a writing deadline and I don't need to engage in this icky, wacko human behavior in which I leave mushy, victim-like cryptic messages for the people who hurt my feelings -- and then have to deal with apologizing or being paranoid and having to feel guilty and ashamed for being so petty.

Anyway, I honestly don't think my friends set out to deliberately hurt me. It may be just an oversight. And even if they did, I chose to create my own reality. I want to see the best in them and maybe this time I can sculpt my own reality. This time I'm going to put my money where my mouth is: see it when I believe it, not believe it when I see it.

TRUST - it is better to trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Don't be suspicious and confrontational. When you've been hurt, expand and open your heart even further. I know some people withdraw and go within, and become smaller and smaller. They shut out the world and the light so they can't get hurt again. But this is not the way to grow. You die that way. You have to do the opposite.

EXPAND your world. Radiate love to your enemies.

I make excuses for my procrastination. Last night I came up with this one: that the reason I wrote a blog about "The Long Road" and the idea of Collaboration -- which was totally off track and not part of the actual writing I am supposed to be doing which is on urgent deadline -- but my excuse was that writing from the heart gave me access to deeper ideas and it opened me up in a way I haven't been opened lately. I have not been writing everyday and I've become rusty and lazy.