Monday, July 01, 2013

OKAY, SO I DENTED MY SON'S FENDER ON HIS BRAND NEW CAR

TEENAGERS ARE NOT NICE PEOPLE... but that doesn't justify lying, does it?  

Okay, so I dented my son's back fender on his brand new car. I was scared to tell him, so I called my bff James Hillis Ford, and whispered the news into the phone, and decided not to tell my son right away.

My plan was to sleep on it, and maybe even pretend that it happened another way — possibly at his own work parking lot — just maybe I could get away with it. Now I am someone who prides myself on being honest to a fault. (Pride always goes before the fall.)  But for some reason I just couldn't face my teenager's wrath. In case you haven't noticed, teenagers are not nice people. I had been trying to park it for him in the impossibly small spot given to us by a Good Samaritan -- because you can't park your own car in front of your own house at night in this town. Not a single car is allowed to be on the streets in our small prestigious Westside city; they love to give $100 parking tickets.

So anyway, I was doing a "no good deed goes unpunished" deed by parking it for him, since I pride myself on being an expert parker (pride always goes before the fall, or did I say this already?) and this way, he gets to stay home for the summer and go to work at his new job at Scopely everyday, and so every night I park it for him. This particular evening I misjudged the space size and angled it too close to a pole...

You won't believe what happened next. To be continued...

Check out my new PUSHPAGE
http://www.pushpage.me/LydiaCornell

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
http://monstersuniversity.com/edu/


On Saturday, June 29, 2013, I went to the private FoCA (Friends of CalArts) screening of MONSTERS UNIVERSITY on the Disney Studios lot

At the Monsters U red carpet Saturday, June 29, 2013
In front of the Seven Dwarves at Walt Disney Studios

:


By the way: great people work at Scopely, the new innovative mobile gaming company.

My son works there too :) But don't let him know I said that. 


38 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:37 PM

    In light of the recent Snowden spying scandal and all...I'd just like to say that I'm sorry if I ever gave the impression that anything is wrong with America anywhere and we're the best nation on earth and all, you know, freedom ringing from sea to shining blah blah , you know the schtick. And Bush and Obama, well..they're just wonderful people,..just fantastic. Luv em. ..really, ..can't get enough of them. Salt of the earth and all that.

    ...every thing is just fine, ..really.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But Worfy,

      Ozero's a LIGHT WORKER! really he is.

      Didn't you see all the pictures of him with a halo around his head?...

      Delete
  2. see can only think maybe just maybe my father would have bought a house if NewYork City did the same type of crap like not allow residents to park the cars in the streets my father did not think he had to buy a house in Queens NewYork with a garage for his car because my father can park his car in the streets as long as my dad does not park his car on the wrong side of the street on the wrong days like Sunday my father can park his car in the street and avoid paying the monthly fee for garage space inside my father's apartment building like really cannot believe my father is so immaterial that my father does not think it is practical to buy a house just for the garage

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8:55 AM

    Mariane, would it be too much to ask you what the hell you're talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8:54 PM

    ...so anyway this horse and voltron go into a bar see, and the bartender takes one look at the horse and tell it, "well, I don't mind the long face but the animal will have to wait outside"...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:56 PM


    "tells" it..tells...



    : |



    ..tap tap...this thing on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's on.

      You're just not funny...

      Delete
  6. Anonymous9:40 PM

    ahh, the stalker peeps his head out.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9:41 PM

    you're funny though..

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous9:41 PM

    even when you're not trying to be.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous7:03 AM

    aww lighten up penishead. Just funnin you a little cuz Lydia said we should argue some more, lol. What you still blubberin about Obama?

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Lydia said we should argue some more"

    But,why argue when unconditional love is the answer?? I think Lydia is rubbing to much oil on her head!!

    BTW,I found this extremely rare video of Lydia just before her TCFC days.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCy-6Bjy36M

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous8:58 AM

    Lydia, you can't leave us hanging like that. Finish the story about denting your sons black fender on his brand new car.

    I am intrigued beyond belief in this story.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous4:28 PM

    I take it you live no where near this Johnny?

    http://news.yahoo.com/explosive-train-crash-quebec-evacuated-whole-town-175639048.html

    Terrible. Seems like they're handling it though. If this had happened in the US we'd be declaring a "War on Trains".

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous8:04 PM

    Well Lydia? What's the rest of the story?

    lol, don't tell me the reason you haven't finished the story yet is because you haven't told him yet. wow, is that it?

    Either way I'm not sure calling the article "Teens are not nice people" is the best way to break it to him. "My son is the greatest most forgiving and understanding son on the planet", lol

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow,that is quite the fire,Worf! I live in the Toronto area so I am safe.....lol! But,why the "war on trains" if this were the U.S? If anything,I wish there was a war regarding transport trucks on highways.............I hate driving!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yeah,that is quite the fire Worf!I am,however,safe as I live in the Toronto area......lol!But,why would the U.S. declare war on trains?

    As for Lydia,I think she skipped town and will never been seen or heard from again............her son must be super hot pissed!

    Women drivers........LOL!Republicans should ban them!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous9:46 AM

    Johnny Slowchild said...

    But,why would the U.S. declare war on trains?

    : |

    ...don't hurt yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous9:48 AM

    And that wasn't just a fire. I'd think this would be on every newschannel in Canada. It was a LOCOMOTIVE that got away from the station down the line, NO DRIVER (engineer) aboard, barreling full steam into the town, then exploded taking out the entire center of town. Buildings destroyed. People killed.

    The massive fire is all that's left.

    Man....you sure you live in Canada?

    ReplyDelete
  18. No joke Worf..............I never watch the news......I play X-box!I will have to check this out though.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous2:48 PM

    So basically you guys have your own version of 911, (only so far no terrorists to pin in on, just some weird malfunction apparently) and as a fellow Canadian you know nothing about it because you're too busy playing X-box.

    : |

    I know you guys are supposed to be laid back and all but isn't that a little ..gee...what's the word.... "cold" ..?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous2:50 PM

    I mean this was like straight out of a movie. Listening to the witnesses describe the train as it came around the corner at a high, HIGH rate of speed, then KABOOOM!!!

    It exploded, leveling everything within a half mile radius.

    The entire town was evacuated.

    : |

    ..but you didn't hear bout it cuz...you were playing X-box...so..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous2:54 PM

    "O Canada, our home and native land,
    True patriot love in all thy sons command,"

    : |

    ...cept when they're playing xbox of course.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This train derailment/tragedy is simply human error...period!Serious terrorists would have picked a much larger target like Toronto or Montreal.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Just finished watching the movie "Tron Legacy"......pretty good!

    Interesting philosophy about perfection/utopia!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Any other Canadian news,Worf? Battlefield 3 awaits me.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous10:48 PM

    Johnny Halfwit said...

    This train derailment/tragedy is simply human error...period

    uhhh, I know dummy...why'd you think I said, QUOTE :'(only so far no terrorists to pin in on, just some weird malfunction apparently)'.

    Why do you always make declarations that others have already made as if they didn't make them?

    True sign of a braindead.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Also,I think you forgot you said this:

    "So basically you guys have your own version of 911"

    Very impressive declaration....... you are too paranoid!!! If a squirrel farted in your backyard you would probably yell "we're under biological attack"

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous7:47 AM

    No I didn't. What YOU forgot, stupid, is that IN THE SAME SENTENCE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THOSE WORDS I QUALIFIED the statement with ((only so far no terrorists to pin in on, just some weird malfunction apparently)'.,

    ....you stupid, illiterate, slow witted beer swilling X-box playing twit.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous7:47 AM

    You're just a stupid illiterate twit sometimes, and I'm not even sure why I talk to you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous8:26 AM

    My entire comment was making fun of the fact that we overreact, I make a joke we'd probably declare "War on trains" and you like the stupid, ignorant, illiterate two bit drunken worst generation EVER x-box baby stooge, turn it into my seeing terrorism.

    Johnny. You're an idiot. An illiterate, dull witted idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Worf,

    Why do you blow everything out of proportion?

    If he didn't know of the train derailment, that's his business, not yours.

    Yes, we all agree that it is a tragedy.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The plane crash in San Francisco is just as devastating.

    These tragedies are occuring at alarming rates.

    The weather patterns are just as bad...due to global warming.

    ReplyDelete
  32. ITS OK,Clippy,Worf forgot to take his triple dose of "Prozac"............LOL!Funny though how Worf claims he was just joking.............he sounded serious to me!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous2:33 PM

    Reinforcing your lies with one of your sock puppet handles won't make them any truer.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Good stuff, Lydia. Back on Blogger after a 3 year absence, and I need to catch up on some stuff here. :-)

    ReplyDelete