ANN COULTER'S LAST WILL AND TESTICLE

"Those who want the government to regulate matters of the mind and spirit are like men who are so afraid of being murdered that they commit suicide to avoid assassination." - Harry S Truman



Okay, I changed this a little from my published version ("BUSH'S LAST WILL AND TESTICLE" in Macon Daily and Lone Star Icon)

Ann Coulter's Last Will and Testicle: With a "god" like Coulter's, who needs a devil?
by Lydia Cornell

Maybe we're all on PUNKED or Candid Camera or this is just a great big reality show called "The Government". Like "The Truman Show", the producers are just seeing how far they can go until we figure out it's a big joke! Wouldn't it be fitting to find out Ann Coulter is just an actor-clown they hired to make us go crazy? And the Blue team is going crazier than the Red team because we think it's real. I just wish Donald Trump would hurry up and say "Coulter, you're fired!"

Coulter keeps wondering why we're not offended that she calls us "godless" in her new book. With a "god" like Ann Coulter's, who needs a devil? Who would want Ann Coulter's brand, when it is the opposite of God? We can't even be offended by her perverse book title calling more than half of all Americans godless. Just to "play with liberals heads", she chose the Number of the Beast 6/6/06 as her release date. Actually Ms. Coulter, all this does is tell us something about YOU!

Silence is complicity, so I'm going to alternate speaking directly to you Ms. Coulter and to the reader. Putting aside your comments about the 911 widows, please explain to me how you justify hate-speak, death-threats against Democrats, and torture on Arabs... (does dropping "daisy cutters" throughout the mideast and engaging in "torture as spectator sport" ring a bell? You wrote this in your column not long ago.) Do you wonder why our own troops have suffered torture recently? Could it be payback for our relaxed attitude about the Geneva Convention?

In 2005 Coulter said: "I'm getting a little fed up with hearing about, oh, civilian casualties. I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning. Boom! I just think it would be fun to nuke them…” Seriously, I think the rest of the countries in the Middle East, after Afghanistan and Iraq, they're pretty much George Bush's bitch." Interview: 1/2/05

In light of the above statement, it is interesting to note that Coulter spoke at a moral reformation conference three months later, on 4/16/05 at The Center for Moral Clarity. Coulter remains a conservative icon and pro-life leader.

Just for the record, your obsession with Bill Clinton has got to stop; it's pathological. Your party's irresponsible Ken Starr-led witch-hunt/persecution/media blitz to expose the affair of Clinton and Lewinsky, two consenting adults, was in itself immoral and damaging to kids. In painstaking detail you paraded these blow-by-blowjob horrors for the press, not caring what effect it had on childhood innocence. And yes, we were all rightly appalled by President Clinton's behavior. But where was the right-wing morality brigade in keeping this porn out of the mainstream news for our children's sake? I still hear Republican mothers talk about how shameful Clinton was, yet they never see how the media salivated and profited at the sex appeal of it all. These same mothers never castigate your favorite president, Bush, for moral corruption on a life-threatening scale.

While your "Christian" supporters like Ralph Reed scour the cartoon channel for sexual immorality, seeing gays in square pants, how do I explain to my kids this pervasive news coverage of children being blown to bits because WE played the bully; we invaded a country that was pretty much under the world's watchful control? How do I explain your "Christian" morality of killing, invading and turning a blind eye to torture and corruption? Last week a little 3-year-old Iraqi girl died after the 3rd bomb hit her tiny apartment; the only piece her brother's found was her hand clutching her teddy bear.

Ms. Coulter, my children have lost their innocence partly because of you. I have to explain to my kids what good morals are: the opposite of yours and of our president, the leader of the greatest nation on earth. I would rather my sons have an appetite for love, not war. People who have morals do not use hate-speak and elimination rhetoric. You have destroyed the very definition of moral values. You say you're "pro-life" but that seems to only apply to the unborn. You promote war and condone the death penalty quite casually, yet think fetal cells in a Petri dish are too sacred to be used for stem cell research in order to save lives! This seems perversely immoral to the vast silent majority of Conservatives, Progressives and Christians who are not fundamentalists.

George Bush is Ann Coulter's favorite president. She says the war in Iraq is going "stunningly well," and defends Bush to the death. She forgets that he sat in a Katrina briefing playing his Nintendo Gameboy under the table, as detailed evidence was being shown to him of a catastrophic hurricane and levee breach on its way to the Gulf. Coulter doesn't mind that he had the nerve to later say: "I never knew the storms were gonna be that bad! I never knew the levees were gonna be breached till I saw it on TV four days later!"

Tell me we're not inside a Simpson's episode!? Little Dubya probably got out of a lot of spankings as a kid with his cute little "aw shucks" grin. Right now our president is probably asking Rove when he gets to go to the playroom and have his ice cream cone.

You condone illegal spying on Americans, yet you don't admonish Bush for his high crimes and misdemeanors. Not too long ago, he was willing to sell our ports to the very people he was afraid we were talking to on the phone! My jaw dropped open the day he said something like, "Heck other countries get to own parts of America, why not the United Arab Emirates, who've been our allies on the war on terror? Just because they harbored some 911 terrorists and cooked their books for them, and don't keep any paperwork and go on hunting trips with Osama and support the Taliban - is no reason for bigotry. We don't want them to think it's because they're Muslim. " But Mr. Bush, wasn't it only a short time ago that you said something like: "Any nation that does business with terrorists, or harbors terrorists, is a terrorist...” I guess you only meant that about your fellow Americans: Democrats or liberals - since Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and talk-radio constantly bash liberals as being traitors! Why are we traitors? Because we value life so much we are horrified by death and killing in this illegal war? Because we are pro-LIFE in the best sense of the word: we want our troops home alive? And this offends you?

Our troops are fighting for our freedoms; is this so we can be wiretapped so we can have no freedoms? Or are they fighting for our president to be able to break the law and sell our ports to a nation that funds terrorists? Does the UAE get to be wiretapped too? Or just American moms and dads who might be wearing 'Peace' signs on their t-shirts. And by the way, does FOX News fall under Freedom of the Press?

I have to admit I'm a little more carefree these days, a little less paranoid that my phones are tapped or I might be taken away in the dead of night for e-mailing jokes about Ann Coulter. In researching my book about Stalin, what horrified me the most were the pedestrian things that are now seeping into America: a woman, sitting in her communal kitchen in Stalinist Russia, said something about the Mediterranean Sea being as beautiful as Russia's Black Sea. A roommate overheard her, and reported this comment as being "unpatriotic." That night, a white "bread truck" came by and took the woman away; she was never heard from again. I also read about a young mother accidentally putting her coffee cup down on a newspaper photo of Stalin's face. Someone watching in the cafe, reported this as "defaming our great leader." A white "bread truck" took her away to a prison camp in Siberia. She left 3 young children behind. After I heard about James Moore, the author of "Bush's Brain" suddenly being on the "No -Fly list", banned from flying outside of America, and unable to get through the red tape to understand why, that's when I began to wonder what kind of country we are living in. I have a theory about when this all started, but that will take more space than I have here.

Uh-oh, spoke too soon; strange things are happening. This just in: Last night, March 15 at about 8 p.m., no joke, a white “bread truck” was parked outside our house. It didn't mean anything to me, until my little boy came running to the back of the house screaming, “There's a big man in our front yard looking through our junk mail-box, he came in the gate and he's wearing a knit cap.” I ran to the front door and peeked out. I saw a dark figure move through the lawn. I waited until I thought it was safe, and then opened the front door. Suddenly across the street, I saw this white van. A man wearing a knit cap was sitting in the driver's side, lights on, reading something. I immediately felt this person was reading addresses off my mail, maybe to see if I lived there. My son and I sneaked out the back door, and headed over to the van, but the van took off. Who knows? Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Again. But in light of the fact that Ann Coulter STILL has my home number on her website, it's not too far fetched to have a wingnut stalking me. After hearing Ruth Bader Ginzburg talk about the right-wing death threats she and Sandra Day O'Connor received, I have one question: WHY ARE RIGHT-WINGERS THE ONLY ONES WHO WANT PEOPLE KILLED FOR THEIR THOUGHTS? You never hear about Left-wingers threatening people's lives whose ideologies they disagree with.

After 911, we had the whole world on the brink of love. Everyone's heart was open. Most Muslims were shedding tears for us. At that moment, our leader had a choice: Love or Fear.

Worfeus, a commenter on this blog said: "Vladimir Putin actually CALLED Bush on the phone that morning and not only offered condolences, but offered to do whatever he could to help. He even assured him that even though Protocol required he raise the Russian Defense Condition in proportion to ours, he understood WHY we were raising ours and assured Mr. Bush that Russia would stand down. It was an EPIC moment in history, that one single phone call. Mr. Bush called it "nice of him".

"And I think if the Taliban were part of the planning body of 911, then we should have invaded Afghanistan after 9/11, it seemed like the right thing to do. But the idea that they were hiding Bin Laden doesn't wash with me," Worfeus says. "If getting Bin Laden was the goal, WHY on earth did we BROADCAST for 2 months Exactly WHEN and WHERE we were coming, and WHAT we'd do when we got there? That's like calling up criminals and telling them you're coming over to arrest them later in the week. What idiot would possibly think they'd still be there when they got there?"

I went through agony when I lost my younger brother; I cannot fathom my mother's grief and heartache, having lost her only son. Her eyes well up with tears every time she hears my husband's name, Paul, which was my brother's name. It is too much to bear when I think of parents losing sons & daughters needlessly in Iraq. This is a war that was "sold" to us and shoved down our throats by a certifiable lunatic. George Bush has caused nothing but chaos, poverty, death, bankruptcy, bad global relations, division, hatred and sadness in the world. "By their fruits you shall know them."

Bush based his "evidence" for going to war in Iraq on LIES that Cheney and Scooter Libby had to cover up. He took money from corrupt lobbyists, grinned and lied about it, and he's still not helping the people of New Orleans! Guess why? Apparently certain "companies" don't want the people to come back; that's why the trailers are sitting empty, undelivered. These companies are waiting like vultures to clear the land for profitable building developments. A side benefit is that all these scattered homeless souls cannot register to vote, nor can they obtain absentee ballots. The longer the delay in rebuilding New Orleans, the better for the Corruption party.

Also, Bush's own mother said he shouldn't soil his mind with visions of poverty and ugliness. Weren't these the same parents who went to play golf the day their baby daughter died, Dubya's baby sister, who died crib death? So Bush can't deal with death or grieving. Well he should have had some therapy before going to the White House. In fact, someone better be writing legislation to ensure that the next leader of the Free World has a brain scan to rule out mental disorders.

I'll never forget when you first said you would go to the ends of the earth to find Osama, then you turned around and acted like we were all crazy for asking if you'd caught him yet! You said, "Osama? I don't spend that much time (thinkin') about him.

Maybe the reason you are so eager to hand over our ports (aside from war-profiteering motives, the Carlyle Group, James Baker, et al) — maybe you're finally getting the concept of "loving your enemies" and you're just ready for a group hug. But I must say your timing is strange. They say we are only as "sick as our secrets", but why pick NOW to release your inner child? Couldn't you have tried to become evolved BEFORE you declared war? If only you had a 12-step program. This is the fastest route to actual character change. It helps to look at YOUR part in a conflict, take some responsibility, and take a "moral inventory of your character defects".

Mr. Bush, why did you have to invade a foreign land? Was there really imminent danger to America from Saddam, even though the whole world was hovering over him, watching him? Weren't there more brainy, imaginative ways of gaining allies in the underground - attracting people to our light, who would gladly usurp Saddam from within? Even if it had taken a few more years of clever spy-work, wouldn't it have been creatively challenging and fun - to work out diplomatic solutions to grotesque problems? Christ waited over 2,000 years for someone to finally put his teachings to use. And when biggest challenge comes along, our "Christian" leader disses Christ! You don't even give his method a half-hearted try. Wouldn't it have been worth saving lives and winning hearts to the cause of true Democracy and true Christianity? And after all the Mission Impossible spy movies you've seen, couldn't you figure out a more clever way than carpet-bombing?

Did you do it to show off your heavy metal machinery, your SHOCK and AWE capabilities so the "enemy" (or anybody who doesn't agree with you) would be scared off? Mr. Bush, you have single-handedly robbed the world of its hope and innocence. To say nothing of the mockery you have made of true Christianity: the most peaceful force that ever came to man. You have rearranged the fragile building blocks of this planet with your Neanderthal eye-for-an-eye fraudulent, militant "Christianity". Maybe you don't realize the word Christ is in the word Christianity because the vowel sounds are different. But eye-for-an-eye is the OLD TESTAMENT! Christ came with the new law: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, BLESS THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU. RESIST NOT EVIL. This means, “Do not fight or resist evil; do not fight anyone or anything, it doesn't work. Most evolved people know this. Schools teach that you deal with bullies on the playground by not engaging them in battle, by walking away, not hitting them back.

There's a saying: If you're in the jungle and a jaguar is chasing you, get out of his way because he's going to eat you. It's nothing personal; it's just the nature of the beast. So go back to your house and stay out of his way. Muslim fundamentalists would not be killing us if we would get our footprints off their oil, mind our own business, and pray for them. They do not seem to know the God of love, but since love is all there is, evil has no real power, no matter how much you physicalize it by focusing on it. In other words, what you focus on GROWS! It also wouldn't hurt to protect our borders and make our country as invincible as Israel is. My girlfriend says she feels safer in Israel than here.

You are a barbarian Mr. Bush, hiding behind a kind of idiocy. And I know that's very judgmental of me to say that, but Christ called the Pharisees a "brood of vipers." And "evil triumphs when good people do nothing,” as Edmund Burke said (and we keep hearing over and over and over these days.)

Fortunately I believe in a power greater than ourselves and I know we're going to be all right. God did not give us a spirit of fear.

Einstein did say "goodness, truth and beauty are laws in the universe" as is harmony. Play the piano and you'll hear it. Kiss your child and you'll feel it. Go outside and breathe in the sunshine while playing with an amazingly beautiful striped animal or a butterfly. Bring coffee to someone who thinks you hate them.

Why do people keep arguing about God when God is simply love? Who can argue with human kindness? Asking to prove God is like asking to prove you love your kids. Love is actually the energy of our focused attention on Good, which I define as God. You can be attractive even if you're not "good looking" because if you radiate love, you attract people. This energy is molecular. Einstein's Unified Field therefore is love, which is God. Science proves God; the two are not mutually exclusive.

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copyright Lydia cornell
(with Warren Beatty at Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey fundraiser)