Choosing to be kind is also a choice to make the Power of Intention active in your life. The beneficial effects of kindness on the immune system and the increased production of serotonin have been proven. Conversely, unkindness weakens the body and puts us into a state of dissonance. So extend acts of kindness; ask for nothing in return.
FC: Is this realistic for non-saints?
Dyer: [Laughter] We're all saints! That's the whole point. We all have built into us this intention, the capacities for kindness and creativity and beauty. It's a matter of perspective. As Einstein said, "The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether or not to believe that the universe is friendly." It's your choice.
FC: But it's a pretty violent, messy planet, isn't it?
Dyer: It is. But for every act of violence and messiness there are a million acts of kindness and goodness. It just depends where you look. And when I look around at virtually anyone or anything on the planet, I can see another face of intention - beauty.
FC: In an effort to practice kindness, you recommend viewing every human encounter as a "holy relationship," the ability to celebrate and honor others, no matter who. But what about when you encounter people who are irritating, rude or even destructive?
Dyer: Generally, I try to stop myself from getting frustrated. I'm not a hundred percent successful, but I'm a thousand times better than I used to be. Anyone who's angry, nasty or rude is really offering a plea to be loved. I play a game with myself, trying to convert them from what I call low-energy emotions that drain us - frustration, irritation, anger and impatience - into high-energy emotions that sustain us - love, caring, kindness.
FC: How do you do it?
Dyer: By asking that surly waiter or harried airline clerk something about themselves or by expressing empathy, "Where are you from? It must be tough standing on your feet for eight hours." Anything to let a person know that, in that moment, I'm thinking more about them than about myself. And you know what happens? Instantly you see a smile.
FC: So paired with kindness would be another face of intention, what you call receptivity. No one and no thing is rejected?
Dyer: Exactly. Whenever you have a thought that excludes or judges anyone else, you aren't defining them. You're defining yourself as someone who needs to judge others.
FC: But don't we all judge one another?
Dyer: Yes, we do. But doing that less is one of those things we want to practice. Anytime I judge another harshly, I always find myself feeling worse.
FC: So when you're feeling offended by others...
Dyer: Remember this rule: Stop taking yourself so seriously! Get your ego out of the way and connect back to kindness - that from which you came.
FC: In your book, you write that controlling ego is intention's enemy.
Dyer: Ego is the part of us that believes: I am what I have, I am what I do. I am what others think of me. All this is just an illusion. The problem? If you are what you do, then who are you when you don't do it any longer? If you are what you have - then when you no longer have it, you no longer have any value!
The truth is that we are all spiritual beings. And when you see yourself as a piece of God, then you see yourself as connected to everything and everyone.
The tsunami and the tapestry
Somehow in this day and age, we’ve seen too much, done too much, been too naked. I don’t think anything impresses anyone anymore. Except seeing, actually seeing God. The great mystical force. I was thinking about the tragedy of the hurricane or the tsunami – and how many bodies have rotted and evaporated – how quickly human life is snuffed out. It proves to me what I’ve always known: that man is not made of matter, that rotting flesh has no essence in and of itself --- no matter how real the illusion seems. Man is spiritual; we are linked to the divine mind, the one mind, God -- and to each other with the fabric, of love. This is a universe of thought. Thought is energy and it is swift; the swiftest of all energies ( too bad those icky Boat veterans forever ruined this word for me.) See I’m a victim of my thought.
Imagine if the human pageant were just a tapestry – and God sees the complete picture on the finished side, but we only see dangling threads that keep disappearing whenever they are being woven in and out. Certain threads disappear because they are part of a grand stitch that completes a beautiful landscape – or picture on the other side. We can’t see the whole picture. In the mind of the great thinker, we are just his thoughts (that have been formed by the thinker.) God is the one thinking us up. It’s not about the outer stuff, it’s the inward journey of completion.
I am deeply humbled by our men and women in the military, and in awe at their courage and sacrifice. These amazing people are true super-heroes -- along with fire fighters and police. God Bless those who died for our freedom. I went to Beirut for the USO on Christmas Eve 1982 -- visiting the Marines of the 24th MAU the "Beirut Bolts and Bombers", along with soldiers and sailors of the International Peacekeeping Force. Went to underground artillery units where one light bulb illumined dark cave-like dungeon; we sang Christmas carols with the boys, then stayed up all night with Capt. Dale Dye, a flask and Johnny Grant in the Beirut Carlton. We were on the 14th floor. The first 13 floors were bombed out or was this my imagination? At dawn, they took us by chopper to the aircraft carriers USS Inchon and USS Shreveport. I lost my high-heel overboard. Kissed a lot of guys (on the cheek) and signed autographs. Later we went to a certain building for the changing of the guard. A short time after I left, the first suicide bomber drove a truck into the Marine barracks and blew up 251 of our best and brightest Marines while they slept. Years later I got a fan letter from the son of one of these heroes who died. He had never known his father, but knew I had met him before he died.
You know how you wake up in life and become ‘conscious’? Well that hasn’t happened to me yet, but I’ve had glimpses of a perfect universe. Nothing makes sense anymore, so I may as well offer an alternative version. Here’s how I see it: it’s normal to be a liberal democrat and believe in Christ. In fact, "conservative Christian" doesn't make sense; it's an oxymoron. It’s okay to disagree a lot with the ACLU, hate abortion and still be a liberal democrat. It’s okay to be offended by Howard Stern and still be a democrat who believes in free speech. Real women don't like being objectified by Howard Stern or advertising or porn and don’t think the F-word is representative of free speech; women who look like a dumb blondes are not always dumb -- we're a persecuted minority and should have minority status -- so we deserve Affirmative Action. I hope you know that’s a joke.
Love is the Principle of unity, the basis of all right thinking and acting; it fulfils the law. We see eye to eye and know as we are known, reciprocate kindness and work wisely, in proportion as we love.
FC: Is this realistic for non-saints?
Dyer: [Laughter] We're all saints! That's the whole point. We all have built into us this intention, the capacities for kindness and creativity and beauty. It's a matter of perspective. As Einstein said, "The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether or not to believe that the universe is friendly." It's your choice.
FC: But it's a pretty violent, messy planet, isn't it?
Dyer: It is. But for every act of violence and messiness there are a million acts of kindness and goodness. It just depends where you look. And when I look around at virtually anyone or anything on the planet, I can see another face of intention - beauty.
FC: In an effort to practice kindness, you recommend viewing every human encounter as a "holy relationship," the ability to celebrate and honor others, no matter who. But what about when you encounter people who are irritating, rude or even destructive?
Dyer: Generally, I try to stop myself from getting frustrated. I'm not a hundred percent successful, but I'm a thousand times better than I used to be. Anyone who's angry, nasty or rude is really offering a plea to be loved. I play a game with myself, trying to convert them from what I call low-energy emotions that drain us - frustration, irritation, anger and impatience - into high-energy emotions that sustain us - love, caring, kindness.
FC: How do you do it?
Dyer: By asking that surly waiter or harried airline clerk something about themselves or by expressing empathy, "Where are you from? It must be tough standing on your feet for eight hours." Anything to let a person know that, in that moment, I'm thinking more about them than about myself. And you know what happens? Instantly you see a smile.
FC: So paired with kindness would be another face of intention, what you call receptivity. No one and no thing is rejected?
Dyer: Exactly. Whenever you have a thought that excludes or judges anyone else, you aren't defining them. You're defining yourself as someone who needs to judge others.
FC: But don't we all judge one another?
Dyer: Yes, we do. But doing that less is one of those things we want to practice. Anytime I judge another harshly, I always find myself feeling worse.
FC: So when you're feeling offended by others...
Dyer: Remember this rule: Stop taking yourself so seriously! Get your ego out of the way and connect back to kindness - that from which you came.
FC: In your book, you write that controlling ego is intention's enemy.
Dyer: Ego is the part of us that believes: I am what I have, I am what I do. I am what others think of me. All this is just an illusion. The problem? If you are what you do, then who are you when you don't do it any longer? If you are what you have - then when you no longer have it, you no longer have any value!
The truth is that we are all spiritual beings. And when you see yourself as a piece of God, then you see yourself as connected to everything and everyone.
The tsunami and the tapestry
Somehow in this day and age, we’ve seen too much, done too much, been too naked. I don’t think anything impresses anyone anymore. Except seeing, actually seeing God. The great mystical force. I was thinking about the tragedy of the hurricane or the tsunami – and how many bodies have rotted and evaporated – how quickly human life is snuffed out. It proves to me what I’ve always known: that man is not made of matter, that rotting flesh has no essence in and of itself --- no matter how real the illusion seems. Man is spiritual; we are linked to the divine mind, the one mind, God -- and to each other with the fabric, of love. This is a universe of thought. Thought is energy and it is swift; the swiftest of all energies ( too bad those icky Boat veterans forever ruined this word for me.) See I’m a victim of my thought.
Imagine if the human pageant were just a tapestry – and God sees the complete picture on the finished side, but we only see dangling threads that keep disappearing whenever they are being woven in and out. Certain threads disappear because they are part of a grand stitch that completes a beautiful landscape – or picture on the other side. We can’t see the whole picture. In the mind of the great thinker, we are just his thoughts (that have been formed by the thinker.) God is the one thinking us up. It’s not about the outer stuff, it’s the inward journey of completion.
I am deeply humbled by our men and women in the military, and in awe at their courage and sacrifice. These amazing people are true super-heroes -- along with fire fighters and police. God Bless those who died for our freedom. I went to Beirut for the USO on Christmas Eve 1982 -- visiting the Marines of the 24th MAU the "Beirut Bolts and Bombers", along with soldiers and sailors of the International Peacekeeping Force. Went to underground artillery units where one light bulb illumined dark cave-like dungeon; we sang Christmas carols with the boys, then stayed up all night with Capt. Dale Dye, a flask and Johnny Grant in the Beirut Carlton. We were on the 14th floor. The first 13 floors were bombed out or was this my imagination? At dawn, they took us by chopper to the aircraft carriers USS Inchon and USS Shreveport. I lost my high-heel overboard. Kissed a lot of guys (on the cheek) and signed autographs. Later we went to a certain building for the changing of the guard. A short time after I left, the first suicide bomber drove a truck into the Marine barracks and blew up 251 of our best and brightest Marines while they slept. Years later I got a fan letter from the son of one of these heroes who died. He had never known his father, but knew I had met him before he died.
You know how you wake up in life and become ‘conscious’? Well that hasn’t happened to me yet, but I’ve had glimpses of a perfect universe. Nothing makes sense anymore, so I may as well offer an alternative version. Here’s how I see it: it’s normal to be a liberal democrat and believe in Christ. In fact, "conservative Christian" doesn't make sense; it's an oxymoron. It’s okay to disagree a lot with the ACLU, hate abortion and still be a liberal democrat. It’s okay to be offended by Howard Stern and still be a democrat who believes in free speech. Real women don't like being objectified by Howard Stern or advertising or porn and don’t think the F-word is representative of free speech; women who look like a dumb blondes are not always dumb -- we're a persecuted minority and should have minority status -- so we deserve Affirmative Action. I hope you know that’s a joke.
Love is the Principle of unity, the basis of all right thinking and acting; it fulfils the law. We see eye to eye and know as we are known, reciprocate kindness and work wisely, in proportion as we love.
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