Tuesday, April 16, 2013

THE ONLY RESPONSE TO HATRED IS LOVE

Buddhists believe strongly that people must immerse themselves in feeling others' pain in order to gain the compassion that heals the world. When your heart is full of love for your fellow man, you can reach out and actually change people's lives.

One day when my son Jack was eight-years old and in third grade, he came home from school with a notice from the principal that a ten-year-old boy in our school, a fifth grader, had accidentally died overnight from a high fever. We had never met this boy or his family, but I felt the mother's pain so deeply it shattered me. I could not stop crying. My own son had been home in bed all week suffering from a similar fever. I searched for the family name in the school directory to see if they had any other children. They had one other son in ninth grade at our local high school.

I prayed so deeply for this mother I lost all sense of time — pouring compassion out to her, holding her in my heart with love that passes all understanding. Maybe that's what prayer is — the invisible transfer of love to another. And then my tears stopped. It was exactly four o'clock in the afternoon.
I felt a sudden, urgent need to get in my car and find this woman. All I knew was that she lived in a large apartment building on Rexford Drive, a few blocks away. The car literally seemed to drive itself down the street. At the end of the block, I saw an unusually tall Asian woman in a bathrobe pacing the sidewalk, looking shell-shocked. I veered into a driveway and stopped the car. She looked at me with a depth of sadness I will never forget. “Are you Benjamin's mother?” I asked as I stepped out of the car. At that moment something surreal happened. The woman began running toward me, and I began running toward her. She rushed into my arms and we just stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, holding each other. She was sobbing. Finally she looked at me and asked, “Did God send you?”

The woman was Korean-American, and explained in broken English that she had just come outside to search for her husband, who had disappeared in grief earlier that day. She asked if I would come inside and have some tea. She asked me if I would look at some pictures of her son.
We went inside and she showed me her son's “room,” which was just a corner of the living room that he shared with his older brother. Though this was Beverly Hills, they lived modestly in a one-bedroom apartment. She showed me Benjamin's report card, schoolwork, baseball trophies, and his collection of “Yugioh” cards — which were just like my son's. She poured tea and told me all the wonderful things about Benjamin.

I silently asked the universe to give me the right words to say, and out of my mouth came some memories formed into words I cannot not take credit for. I told her about my precious brother Paul and how he had come to me in a vision a few days after his death. I'll never forget this because I was driving my car and literally had to pull over and stop. On the radio they were playing the song from the Disney movie “Pocahontas” when the lyrics about the Sycamore tree came on: “Who knows how high the Sycamore grows, if you cut it down you'll never know.” This struck me because we had Paul's memorial service beneath a giant Sycamore tree in Franklin Canyon. Overcome by grief, my head collapsed onto the steering wheel. Now I have never experienced anything like this in my life, and it may sound completely loony — but suddenly, out of nowhere, a surge of warmth and light filled my body and I bolted upright in my seat. I saw my brother's face smiling at me, beaming at me, so broadly I had never seen him like this before. It was an inner vision, but it was as if he was right there talking to me. He told me not to cry, that he'd “see me later,” and that “there is no death.” Then, he said “I love you Lydia.” This was on the third day after I had found his body after the drug overdose. I felt at peace about him from that point on.

I kept a picture of my brother Paul by my bedside, with a candle burning next to it. One morning three days after his death, my one and a half-year-old toddler Jack woke up, giggled, pointed to the picture and exclaimed, “Paul happy!” This gives me chills even now when I remember it. To this day I can't even believe he could speak this well or even say these words - or even remember who Paul was! He had only met him a few times and most the time Paul was wearing sunglasses!

On the day we scattered his ashes at sea, before we left for the boat, three white doves alighted on our lawn, and these were not doves for hire. What is it with the number three?

As I sat with this woman, I told her that her son Benjamin was a blessing and a gift she got to keep for ten years — and now God needed him back home for bigger things. I told her “our children are on loan to us.” I have no idea where I got this, as I had never even thought about it that way before.
As she walked me out she said she felt a wave of peace come over her. “I was so sad before you came. Do you believe in angels? ” It dawned on me that we can all be 'angels' and comforters for each other when we open up and begin to really care about others. It's amazing how love uses us when we make ourselves available.

Our entire school attended Benjamin's funeral. During the eulogy, the minister read a letter written by this mother, which said: “Benjamin was a gift to us for ten years, and now God needs him back home.”
Maybe God is only to be explained through acts of human kindness, benevolence and comedy. Maybe that's all we need to know. There are so many times I've received a nudge to extend myself to help someone, but out of laziness or fear, I've ignored the call. Often I didn't feel equipped to help others because I was such a mess myself - and I wasn't able to get out of my self-centered fear.
But in the twelve steps there's a saying, “The answers will come when your own house is in order.”

***
One day I was working on a Pirates of the Caribbean puzzle with my son. At the very same time I was succeeding at putting the puzzle pieces together, my life was somehow quietly, behind my back, slipping into place, into a sort of divine alignment. How did it happen? This journey has swept me into Hollywood and brought me to my knees. It also uncovered immense spiritual resources I never knew I had. Sometimes I think life is a tapestry and we are underneath with the long yarn, holding on for dear life, holding onto the threads and fibers unraveling, winding, knotting chaotically — but all the time being woven into something orderly and magnificent from the other angle, from above — if we would just let go and not hold the strings so tight. We just can't see the beauty of the tapestry from the other side, from God’s viewpoint.

Why do people talk so much about whether or not God exists, when God is simply love? Who can argue with love — or kindness, unselfishness, compassion, sharing, forgiveness? Asking someone to prove God's existence is like asking him to prove he loves his kids. How do you prove love exists except by watching it in action? Religion often gets in the way of God's simple purpose: to love one another. I have the profound sense that we can touch God everyday when we are loving to others, especially those who offend us and disturb us, and especially those less fortunate. Have you seen someone's face light up with just one kind word?

“Compassion for others is impossible when we are filled with a belief that we are separate and distinct from other human beings,” says Wayne Dyer. "The only response to hatred is love."

 Love really does heal everything. But 'faith without works is dead,” and we are all called to get out of ourselves and help each other, like the Good Samaritan. We must be peacemakers and take care of the poor, the meek, and the outcasts, the widows and orphans.

Einstein said it beautifully here:

A human being is a part of the whole called by us “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

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21 comments:

  1. Kevin in Colorado10:44 PM

    Dear Ms. Cornell,

    Rarely have I been as moved as I am now, having just read your beautiful, profound post.

    As a struggling aspirant on the path myself, I seek to find ways to serve humanity and share the same uplifting message of Love and Light with others that you are doing here with your hopeful, healing words.

    There is no death. There is no end. I believe our souls are like sacred pieces of coal, being buffed slowly but surely over eons of time through death and rebirth, into highly polished diamonds of perfect Enlightenment.

    Yours I suspect is an old, beautiful soul. You've been heavily tested in this incarnation, and you've withstood great pressure. You did not yield. And now you help to uplift others, that they too can stand strong and ring true.

    Thank you for sharing, and for all you give, and have given. I'll continue to read your writings with much joyful anticipation, and will strive to be a greater bearer of Light in my own life.

    And to think I once thought of you only as the lovely "Sara Rush." We've both come a very long way -- and what a beautiful, necessary journey it's been.

    Kevin

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Kevin in Colorado.
    Your letter really touched me.

    Luv xo
    Lydia

    ReplyDelete
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  4. Breaking: Security officers order staff, media to clear Boston courthouse

    Reuters – 14 mins ago

    BOSTON (Reuters) - Security officials on Wednesday ordered staff, media and attorneys to evacuate Boston's federal courthouse, according to a Reuters reporter on the scene.

    Scores of people could be seen leaving the building. No further details were immediately available.

    "Get away from the building. I can't stress this enough, people," a uniformed law enforcement official yelled at the crowd.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Texas fertilizer plant blast injures dozens

    By JOHN L. MONE and BETSY BLANEY | Associated Press – 2 mins 10 secs ago

    WEST, Texas (AP) — The mayor of a Texas town where an explosion leveled a fertilizer plant says he doesn't yet know how many people were hurt or killed in the blast.

    West Mayor Tommy Muska said at a news conference that there was a fire at the West Fertilizer plant before Wednesday night's explosion.

    The blast could be heard at least 45 miles away and it caused major damage to surrounding buildings.

    An official from a hospital in nearby Waco says at least 66 people were taken for treatment there, including 38 who were hurt seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Probably not related to terrorism, probably an accident.

    Just goes to show that not all bad things happen because of terrorists and also that we can't always "get someone" for the things that happen.

    Imagine if the Twin Towers were an accident, and not terrorism. Imagine how we'd have responded, with grief and compassion and then getting on with our lives.

    Now suppose we applied that same reaction to terrorism.

    How much better off would we be today.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thoughts and prayers to everyone in Texas,

    the fertilizer plant explosion that large is going to cause mass causalities,

    and devastation of everything around it.

    The news I have heard so far is not good.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Newest reports from Dr. George Smith of West EMS say the explosion that occurred at a West, Texas fertilizer plant has left 60 to 70 people dead and hundreds more injured. The numbers are expected to rise throughout the night.

    It is really bad.

    ReplyDelete
  9. DPS officials say 75 to 100 homes and businesses have been destroyed and 1,000 are left without power.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank god we still have a functioning government able to assist these people at the same time searching for the bombers in Boston.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My God, 60 to 70 dead. Horrible.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous12:31 AM

    Some were practical, of course, but others were psychological and emotional.
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  14. It didn't take long. Lydia removes the Captcha and 8 hours later this scumbugs back posting his trash.

    ReplyDelete
  15. LEAVE IT TO WORFEUS6:38 AM

    Just heard some sad news. Frank Bank, the actor who played Lumpy Rutherford on Leave it to Beaver died.

    :(

    I was actually just watching the episode where Wally and Eddie tied a chain to Lumpy's coupe as a joke and Lumpy pulls out ripping the rear axle and drive shaft off.

    I grew up watching that show, and still watch it all the time.

    Sad to see him go. He was only 71.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow,no shit,Worf,just heard him last week on Howard Stern last week.............seems like a cool guy! He claims to have slept with over 1000 women......lol!He and a few of the other cast members would use "The Beaver" to pick up chicks.

    May he rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Has anyone heard anything about which religion the Boston bombers were?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yea. Same as yours big mouth. One that takes the teachings of their religion and turns it into a call for murder. Just like you gun worshiping "Christians" like Tim McVeigh, and Anders Brevik, who killed a lot more people than this pathetic kid did.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Don't worry. Your place in the pits of hell won't be too far from theirs, Voltron. When you get there, you can ask him just to be sure.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well actually you're very close. Their religion IS a call for murder, but they, with the assistance of useful idiots such as yourself, CLAIM it's peaceful...

    ReplyDelete
  21. AND these guys may have killed less than Tim McVeigh and Anders Brevik did, but Moose Limbs as a whole have killed more than Christians have.

    ReplyDelete