You are correct and this is how I should be seeing my formerly "gloomy" situation — for I am a student of metaphysics. There are no problems, only challenges that show me what needs to be healed. I am seeing the opposite of love in our arguments, and these are all fear-based concerns. Fear of death, loss, abandonment... fear of being out of control, of not having enough, of losing what we have, of not getting what we want. All this fear makes us live in the future or the past, but never in the present reality — where everything is fine. Now, this actual very moment is all there really is. There is no guarantee we'll be here tomorrow. The Haitian earthquake, and that car accident proved to me that life can be over in an instant. My precious brother's death showed me how fragile and temporal life is. And all that remains are the good memories. Only love and goodness are real.
There is lovely teacher/angel sleeping on our couch and my teenagers do use the "F" word. But they are using it less and less, the higher I hold them up.